An ice cream man's guide to a happy life

It must be a decade since I've read an Archie comic book (or 'digest', as they call it) in its entirety. Along with Disney Today, Amar Chitra Katha and Tinkle, the Archie digest was a source of generous timepass laced with mostly juvenile humour back in the day. One particular strip remains stuck in my head because it pretty much sums up the uncomplicated nature of the characters, in this case Jughead Jones.

The story begins thus: Jughead's mom has cut off his allowance, and he whines to Archie and Reggie about it, "Now how do I pay for all the food I want to eat?". He tries his hand at a variety of odd jobs to raise the money, right from lawn-mowing to dog-walking, but he screws up things and gets the boot each time around. He is in a desperate position.

Next, Archie and Reggie see Jughead driving an ice cream van, complete with the ding-a-ling bell, and slurping on a cone. "So Jughead's an ice cream man now!" comments Archie. "Yeah, and it looks like he's his own best customer!" observes Reggie. "I love this job!" says Jughead, "All the ice cream I can eat! And other guys are willing to trade all kinds of stuff with me! How about that!". The immediate scene shows him exchanging his cones for a popsicle and a sundae with another vendor.

"But doesn't it get boring eating ice cream all the time?" questions Reggie. "That's why I trade off some ice cream for other stuff when I wan't something else" comes Jughead's reply, and he's shown giving off a cone in exchange for a pizza pie. "Thanks man!" says the pizza boy, wiping the sweat from his brow, "Phew! It's hot." "See?" says Jughead, "It'a long summer. Everyone's only too happy to give me all kinds of food in return for my ice cream."

"But don't you have to pay for all that ice cream you eat?", asks Archie. "Yeah, that's why I'm willing to sell off some of the ice cream - but just enough to break even" says Jughead. "Yeah wise guy, but it means you don't make any money, right?" counters Reggie. To which Jughead answers, "So who needs money? All I wanted was enough food to satisfy my hunger pangs!"

Reggie thinks out loud "I really wonder who's crazy....Jughead or the world". Archie replies "I have a hunch it isn't Jughead".

PS: It's often said that beer is the solution to all the world's problems. I reckon ice cream isn't far behind.